Subject: Pursuing a Partner through Courtship

Scripture Reading: Ruth 3: 1 – 18

Memory Verse: Ruth 4: 10

Objective: To examine and highlight ways of improving Christian courtship.

Introduction: The first step in the process of moving towards marriage is a godly courtship. Courtship is a time to discern if either party is ready for the role they are to play as husband and wife. Courtship essentially is to prepare for a God-honouring lifetime partnership in marriage.

1. What might one look for when considering a prospective mate? Proverbs 31: 30 & Genesis 29: 18

2. Should a courting couple be open to godly counsel? Who are some persons that may give counsel? Titus 2: 3 – 5 & Judges 14: 1 – 3

3. Can the lust of the eyes cause us to choose the wrong partner? 1 Kings 11: 1 – 6

Note: Solomon did not heed to God’s wise counsel (1 Kings 9: 4 – 6), and as a result, he suffered the consequences (1 Kings 11: 6 – 15). We are warned not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6: 14). Being married to someone who does not share your faith in God makes it more likely that there will be spiritual marital conflicts.

4. How can a courting couple keep their moral conduct above reproach? 1 Thessalonians 4: 2 – 4 & Galatians 5: 16

Note: There is a vast difference in the way that the world and the church pursue courtship. During courtship, the parties involved must bear certain spiritual standards in mind. Courting couples must be careful and exercise self-control as it relates to intimacy. A clean courtship will please God.

5. Is there a specific timeline given in the Bible for the length of time that individuals should court? 1 Samuel 25: 38 – 42. Compare with Genesis 29: 16 – 20 and discuss briefly.

Note: As your courtship progresses towards marriage, certain matters will need to be discussed openly and honestly. For example, where you will live, having children, finances, major debts or obligations, and health issues.

6. What could be a wise course of action if serious problems surface during courtship? Discuss briefly.

Conclusion: While courting, do not forget that you are dealing with an imperfect descendant of Adam, not some idealized hero or heroine out of a romance novel. Everyone has short comings and bad habits and some of these will have to be overlooked. On the other hand, if you notice things that trouble you deeply, such doubts should be considered carefully. However romantic you may feel or however anxious you may be to get married, do not close your eyes to serious faults. In that case, it is wise to discontinue the relationship and refrain from making a lasting commitment to that person.